these years

surrounded by strangers and i'm all alone

searching for someone that i can call home

reaching for comforts that i can't afford

they ask me what's wrong, i just tell them bored

'cause how can i say that i'm one step from tears

haunted and chastised by my daunting fears

on the tip of my tongue are the things that i need

but from onlooking eyes it seems more like greed

a need to be loved and have some sort of peace

but instead i turn to the cheapest release

but no one has time to take me along

down the path of healing, to where i belong

they'd rather believe that my smile is not fake

than to invest all the time that my healing would take

but who can i blame when nothing is owed

i play only the cards that i was bestowed

the uppers take me down, with downers i go up

sooner or later my soul will erupt

and only a trace will be left of my heart

and that is saddest and loneliest part

but there's no one to blame and so i do not

i am doing my best but thats not enough

what can i say besides, life is tough

-sn:don't worry, i'm not on drugs